2017
Sad, angry, bitter & exhausted—I rolled out of my hospital room & into the office of behavioral health at the VA. I had finally capitalized on the open invitation from my care team. I needed help. I kept apologizing to her. “I wasn’t worth all of this investment. You’re a fucking Ranger—man up”. This was replaying in my mind while I reclined my wheelchair during my first session. We agreed on guided meditation—baby steps.
I fell asleep in 30 seconds. My hour long session was over and she gently woke me up. I started sobbing. This was the best sleep I’d had in months. We continued to meet weekly in various areas of the hospital. My favorite was the Fisher House Foundation’s garden.
I felt like a semi truck had been lifted off of my chest. I didn’t realize the weight I was carrying. I never looked back… and with my mental strength came my physical strength. I started crushing physical therapy & kicked all of my pain medications. I started to experience something that I’d thought I’d lost forever—life.
Current
I meet every 1-2 months now over VA Video Connect (VA FaceTime) with my behavioral health therapist. I’m honestly at a point in my life post injury where I could cut the therapy sessions all together but truthfully—I love meeting my therapist.
If you had read that to the Josh in my other post he would have run over your toes & laughed in your face. The venting and processing of this trauma has formed a very profound relationship & has also prompted a lot of my blog content. I am proud of my ability to open up to someone who has helped me refine the person I am today. She also very well may have saved my life.
I was very close to hating myself forever & I had begun pushing away loved ones HARD. I don’t know if I get through that alone. I will forever advocate for mental health and therapy. Let’s end any stigma behind talking with someone. After each session, I feel strong—never weak. There is no weakness in being kind to your mind.
This drawing (above) is what my sessions look like now. No more weekly heart to hearts, but I’m damn glad that I had them. Constantly learning & growing.
Let’s take care of one another.
Thank you for revisiting this old blog post! Please consider subscribing for post updates as I blog about my life.
2 thoughts on “Be Kind To Your Mind”